I am a professional educator, entrepreneur, academic researcher and skills development practitioner with more than 20 years’ experience. However, in 2013 I began a new journey into coaching and behavioural change psychology. This professional shift and evolution were motivated by my personal experiences and a new desire to understand the relationship between human behaviour and the brain. My interest was entrepreneurial behaviour but personal life events re-directed me to the complex area of relationship behaviour.
I hold a Master of Education (MEd) degree in Cognitive Psychology, Curriculum Studies and Academic Achievement, a Master of Science (MSc) degree in Coaching and Behavioural Change Psychology, a Professional Certificate in Coaching, Master Career Coaching Certificate and a Certificate in Life and Business Coaching. I am also trained in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).
While trained in different coaching specialties, I have a specific interest in Psychodynamics, Dark Psychology and Cognitive Behaviour. I coach from a psychodynamic and cognitive behavioural perspective. My study of neuro-science and human behaviour has led me to conclude that we live our lives at the mercy of our subconscious mind and that it may be the main cause of personal leadership dysfunctions. I therefore assist my clients to navigate personal and intimate relationships from this perspective.
My experience has shown that many people who are in toxic relationships eventually lose their identities and direction in life. Using different Life Coaching tools, I help my clients heal lost identities so they can recover, re-design and re-build their lives. I take great pride in the progress and success of my clients, and look forward to helping you. Get in touch to learn more.
Why are some relationships so toxic?
Contrary to what you may believe, lack of self-knowledge is one of the major causes of perpetual conflicts in relationships and in particular romantic or marital relationships. When things go wrong, we feel better when we blame our significant others instead of ourselves. This is called projection. Projection is a psychological defense mechanism. We can prevent this tendency through radical self-awareness. Radical Self-Awareness is not just about knowing your name, your education or where you come from. It is about knowing your inner being, your subjective world which is made up of your beliefs, values, attitudes, emotions etc. It is about understanding how your gaping inner wounds influence your relationship behavior. It is about knowing what those wounds are. Using different tools and techniques, I help my clients take a journey into themselves to discover who they truly are. Allow me to shine light into your darkness.
This perspective is based on Psychodynamic Theories. Psychodynamic theories explain personality factors and processes embedded in our sub-conscious minds but we are not fully aware of them. Psychodynamic theory contends that our early childhood experiences, especially during the formative years are crucial in understanding our adult behavior and personality. Differences in our psychodynamic make-up are therefore responsible for some of our differences in relationships. It is therefore, crucial that you know and understand all the psychological forces and factors that have shaped who you have become. I use different tools and techniques to take you through this journey to your light.
DARK TRIAD PERSPECTIVE
The Dark Triad is a term used in Dark Psychology. It is referring to three personality disorders, namely, Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy. It has been proven that most violent relationships are a result of one or a combination of these personality disorders. These disorders are dangerous because you can never tell that your significant other is suffering from one or a combination of them until it’s too late. They are insidious mental diseases that wreak havoc on relationships. My special interest and subject of continuous research is Narcissism and Narcissistic Relationship Abuse. I use my own STORY and experience to raise your awareness about this mental disorder and help you navigate and manage such a relationship if you are caught in one. However, it is important that you are first assessed as to whether or not you are not personally suffering from any of these, especially narcissism.
Packages & Rates
Put Your Life Into Focus
Relationship SWOT Analysis (Session 1)
This is a FREE Intake Session
I always assume that each relationship is healthy and functional until sources of conflict and pain are brought to the surface. Although we don’t normally want to accept this, the truth is that until we know who we truly are, chances of solving relationship problems are very slim. During this session, I help my clients through a journey of self-discovery. Using a business tool called The SWOT Analysis and other personality type tests like the MBTI and Enneagram, we assess your Strengths and Weaknesses to determine how they present an Opportunity or Threat to relationship behavior change. This minimizes chances for the blame game usually played by relationship partners and prevents psychological projection.
Relationship SWOT Analysis (Session 2)
R800 / 2 sessions
Using information gathered in session one, I work with my clients to do their own relationship analysis. This exercise is meant to help identify sources of conflict and disagreements in a relationship. The SWOT approach to relationships helps each party to accept the role they play in the relationship. It helps to focus on the Strengths, improve Weaknesses and assess Opportunities for further improvement and to be able to jointly deal with the Threats. This session is important to determine and assess the degree of toxicity in the relationship and the psychological factors underlying it.
New Relationship Goal Setting
R950 / 4 sessions
Using information form Sessions 1 and 2, my clients should be able to make a joint decision about whether of not the problems in the relationship are solvable and if so, which areas need to be worked on. This session help parties to reach an amicable solution. If the decision is to continue with the relationship, I then help my clients to set new relationship goals.
Relationship Help Sessions
Toxic Relationship Analysis: Is it Narcissistic?
R650 per hour
Our dark side determines the type of relationships we have with ourselves and with people. In intimate relationships, our dark side may manifest itself in narcissistic relationships. Narcissism is a personality disorder that wreaks havoc on intimate and marital relationships. If you are in a toxic relationship, there is a greater possibility that you are in a narcissistic relationship. I will help you understand what narcissism is and the narcissistic abuse cycle. You will be able to identify narcissistic behavioural patterns, the ‘Red Flags’.
Narcissistic Relationship Management
R650 per hour
One of the most difficult relationships to manage is a narcissistic one. This is due to the fact that while the term is known, very few people understand the insidious and dangerous nature of a narcissistic relationship, I will take you through the narcissistic abuse cycle and help you understand how to manage the relationship during each stage.
Our dark sides are shaped by our early childhood experiences especially during the formative years. The meaning that we attach to these experiences gets embedded in our subconscious life and manifests itself in adult behavior. Most of the time we do not know why we behave the way we behave in adult life. This is what make personal change difficult if not impossible. Using the psychodynamic model, neuro-linguistic programming techniques and inner work, I will help you take a journey into your inner self to determine what is holding you back.
Narcissistic Relationship Abuse Recovery
7-16 DAYS: Fee dependent on nature of programme, severity and number of Days
Victims of narcissistic abuse may suffer post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) which manifest themselves in acute anxiety and depression. PTSD has the capacity to paralyze the mind and render the person totally ineffective and unable to function in a normal and healthy way. Recovering and healing from these disorders may take a very long time. You will be helped to navigate your journey of recovery and healing through different programmes and psycho-spiritual interventions.